Hello Lovely Ladies and Dashing Dudes,

I hope you all had a wonderful holidays and a Happy New Years! With the new year comes new resolutions. Resolutions is just a fancy term for a goal. If one begins to rethink our resolutions as long term goals, one can begin to make changes to our mindset and actions. These changes can and will improve their life. I will be leaning on a familiar face when talking about

How to Set Goals
Accountability
How to Deal with Setbacks
Self Sabotaging
Stressy + Depressy
Win Like Your Jay Rock #celebrate

With that I will reintroduce to you my interviewee and recent graduate Aaron Powell and this photo:

Me: Describe to me what is happening in the photo.

Aaron: So this photo is kind of funny for a reason I didn’t really tell anyone yet, but why not now. So the girl in front of me in the picture is named Ande. And coincidentally, we dated for a month. The reason I am taking up all of this text space to mention this, is because the person behind me is her current boyfriend. Nothing was super awkward between us, but it was definitely a unique position to be in for the entire ceremony. The TL:DR for this picture though, is this is me walking across the stage to get my diploma in mechanical engineering.

Me: What is your initial reaction to this photo?

Aaron: Bit of a mixed bag. So on the one hand, I am thrilled to finally be done with my degree, and to have done the best I could with it. On the other hand, this definitely symbolizes the end of an era in my life, and because I don’t really know where I’m going to end up I can’t really fully appreciate what I accomplished. Attempting to go into the job market without knowing when I might find a job has been really stressful.

Me: What do you remember about this day?

Aaron: Not a whole lot. I remember waking up later than I should have honestly. I remember sitting between my ex-gf and her current bf. And I remember seeing how proud this moment made my mom. I know it made my dad proud too, but he’s never the best at showing it.

So, the reason I chose Aaron and this photo for this blog on goals is because when we met 3+ years ago he had the goal of graduating with a 4.0 GPA. And well, he did. And that's pretty awesome and takes a lot of dedication. So he is now being summoned to share his secrets.

We will start with How to Set Goals.

How To Set Goals

Me: How often do you set goals?

Aaron: So, oddly one of the few things I actually remember from any sort of res life training, was Jenny teaching us about proper goal setting. She told us that Goals should be SMART which stood for Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Timely. The big point that I looked to was timely. So for me, I set my goals in increments that may build towards a larger goal. The point of this timeframe breakdown is that if you set just longterm goals you’ll never reach them because you can keep deferring.

Me: Cool, Well I was going to ask you if you knew what SMART goals are, but you beat me to the point. Care to elaborate?

Aaron: Yeah I believe SMART goals are a good baseline for anyone looking to begin goal setting. The hardest problem to overcome in Goal setting is dreaming. Too often people want to just include what their dream is as the only goal and consider their mission achieved. It can be very difficult to say, “buy a new car” the task of saving that amount of money can be daunting. However it can be much simpler if you break that goal down into component goals that are specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, and timely.

I do like to say that “A goal is a dream still in progress”. Dreaming is not bad but one must remember that you can not just reach a dream. One must work hard at achieving their collective goals first. If you want your goals to be SMART, here is what you need to be asking yourself.

Smart: What specifically do you want to accomplish?

WHY do I want to accomplish this?
What are the requirements?
What are the constraints?

Measurable: How will you know when your goal has been accomplished?

How will I measure my progress?

Attainable: How can this goal be accomplished?

What steps should I take?

Relevant: Is this goal worth working hard to accomplish?

Is this the right time?
Do I have the necessary resources to get it done?
Is this in term with my long term goals?

Timely: By when will this goal be accomplished?

When am I going to work on this goal?

When we decide to set new goals, it’s best to know the "why?" behind why these goals are important.

Me: What typically motivates the "Why?" behind your goals?

Aaron: The “Why” behind my goals are typically success. Over the past 4 years, not one of my goals has really dealt with my physical or mental wellbeing. My goals have been singularly focused on my financial and academic success. Because of [lack of hours in a day], I tried to focus my goals more singularly. If my goals then were financial and academic success then all hours of my day were mostly being spent on those goals. This means that during college not only did I get a 4.0, but saved $30,000, and invested $11000 in a retirement account.

These "Why?"s are generally motivated by a set of beliefs or faiths. My big "Why?" is overall Wellbeing and if you read my previous blog "ATW4: My Summer of Seven Wellbeings" then you know that mine are split into career, social, financial, physical, community, mental, education.

Me: How do you go about categorizing your goals?

Aaron: When in college, I categorized my goals into two categories, Academic and Financial. Now I will be categorizing my goals into Career and Financial. The reason I pick these two, is because they are the most important aspects of my life. By taking my finances and career extremely seriously, it can better prepare me for the unexpected events in life.

To know where you want to be, you need to know where you are. This is where a life audit comes in.

Me: How often do you do a life audit?

Aaron: So one of the best compliments I ever got in life was from my residence director Vince. He told me that I am one of the most self-aware people he has met. I strive in life to consistently analyze my life and track how I am doing and where I need improving. Although up until the start of this year it was an entirely mental track. My good friend Spencer Bongiovi recently sent me a spreadsheet that allows me to track daily progress and how I felt about what I had achieved that day. My new years resolution (Not that I really believe in those), is to fill that sheet out every day to better track how I am performing in life day-to-day. Using that data I can figure out areas of my goal setting that I am falling short on.

To clarify, Life Audits are essentially measurements of where you are at now. The categories for your audit should match your goal categories. You write where you are and where you want to be. The space in between is the work you will be putting in. When doing a life audit, you should also write down things like your skills and positive traits. There is no need to just dwell on our perceived shortcomings.

Me: Do you research your goals?

Aaron: Not particularly. It depends on the goal I guess though. So my short term goal right now is to get a job. The problem with this goal, is that it can seem very daunting and it can become easy to lose track of your long-term goals in that fear. I’m very pleased to kind of answer these questions, because it is making me take a moment to think of my own goal setting and how I am going to achieve it.

I am glad you’ve started thinking about how researching your goals. Because to effectively make SMART goals, you have to do your research. You can’t loose weight if you don’t know how to properly diet and exercise. If answering the SMART questions seems to be stomping you, start looking into why. Google and Pinterest, maybe even Instagram can help you find the answers.

AWESOME.... here's a little breather and on to the next subject.

Accountability:

Accountability: the state of being accountable, liable, or answerable (Dictionary.com). Also known as owning up to your own actions. It’s hard to keep up with goals with life always throwing new things at you so how does one stay accountable?

Me: How do you hold yourself accountable?

Aaron: So I have a couple of different methods that I personally use to hold myself accountable. My biggest tip is pattern recognition. Humans have a natural knack for recognizing patterns so it is about recognizing unhealthy trends in your own life to see yourself falling off track. A physical method that I personally use, is when I make a to-do list, I color code it. Every time I complete a task, I color it purple. If I fail to complete a task by the due date, it remains uncolored as a permanent reminder of that mistake to keep me from making that mistake again.

If you’ve color coded to do list and put oh so many reminders in your phone and still forget to do what you need to, maybe its time for an accountability buddy.

Me: Do you have an accountability buddy? Could be a study buddy or running partner?

Aaron: I personally do not use an accountability buddy. From my understanding, no one will ever be capable of caring more about your success than you do.

JOKES ON YOU AARON!!! You gave yourself an example of an accountability buddy. You said and I quote “My good friend Spencer Bongiovi recently sent me a spreadsheet that allows me to track daily progress and how I felt about what I had achieved that day. My new years resolution (Not that I really believe in those), is to fill that sheet out every day to better track how I am performing in life day-to-day.”

Here’s the thing, accountability partners do not have to be people that you have to talk to or message everyday to check in. Meeting your goals does not mean that you have to inherit a metaphorical parole officer. Accountability partners can also just be people that just give you advice along the way. Kind of like my Wellbeing mentors.

Me: Do you use any tools to help you stay accountable?

Aaron: I build a color coded to-do list in Google docs so that I can access it anytime and edit it on my phone.

Other things that are helpful are apps for phones. There are apps that track your sleep, money, weight loss, water intake, etc. You pay $1000+ dollars for a phone. Use it to help further your progress.

Despite our best efforts setting SMART goals, finding ways to stay accountable, sometimes we hit setbacks.

Setbacks:

Shit happens. That shit are setbacks. Setbacks suck, however setbacks are more like the chain on your bike coming off and less like a train derailing. The worls is not going to end when a setback occurs.

Me: Have you encountered setbacks before?

Aaron: So one of my number one setbacks that I have encountered in life was getting denied from Georgia Tech. Part of my goals out of college was to get a degree from there.

Me: What do you do when you've encountered a setback?

Aaron: However, once I was denied it was time to analyze the goals I had set and to reanalye how to go about achieving the same long term goals a different way. When you encounter setbacks it can be most helpful to just sit back and see how big the set back actually is in the grand scheme of things, because almost always it is not as significant as you would think.

So… how does one overcome a setback? Let’s start with these steps:

Acknowledge that these things happen.
1. We grow through what we grow through. Setbacks are part of the growth process and will lead to something even bigger and better.
Don’t linger on it too long
1. You’ll dig yourself into a deeper mental hole rather than figure out ways of getting out of said hole.
Okay. Now it’s time to reevaluate.
1. This is when you go back to your SMART goal and see what adjustments need to be made in order for you to continue to achieve this goal. This potentially means pushing back you goal date and that is OKAY. It is also okay to decide that the goal is no longer worth achieving. Just make sure you’ve come to this decision after some thought and not as a coping mechanism for a perceived failure.
Now that you’ve gone through these step its time to take action and move forward. You got this!

Sometimes setbacks can lead to or are caused by Self Sabotage.

Self Sabotage:

Me: Have you ever torpedoed yourself? Why?

Aaron: Most recently I would say I’ve torpedoed myself in terms of job applications. I would say a combination of a fear of rejection combined with a general unease about the future led to me delaying when I started applying till very late in the semester. Because of this, I am now in this position where I am very unsure about where I’ll end up down the line.

Well, Aaron, you have already completed the first step in overcoming self sabotage and that is understanding the “why?”. A majority of the time, self sabotaging comes from the need to feel comfortable. When one makes the decision to change their life, they can also become overwhelmed by the “newness” or “awkwardness” that is said change. It’s how our brains are wired. New things = freak out.

After understanding the“why?” for the arguably 4th time, one then has to begin to accept the discomfort. This means re-framing how we think about change. Instead of thinking about the negativity of your current uncomfortableness, think of how much more happy you’ll be once you achieve your goal. On top of this, one can also reevaluate their steps and ease into their goals to be more comfortable. Also, find a support group to help.

Okay, so now let’s dive into a not so fun topic….

Stressy and Depressy:

I am not a therapist or a psychiatrist and neither is Aaron so I encourage everyone to use this next portion as a spring board to start your own research and develop a personal understanding of what depression and goal setting means for you.

Me: When you are feeling less happy than normal, how do you keep chugging along with achieving your goals?

Aaron: The tip I use to stay on track is remembering why I am doing all of this. Being overwhelmed or feeling a sense of anxiety and depression about moments in your life is completely normal. I don’t know a single person who hasn’t experienced those kinds of feelings of doubt. It’s at these moments that it can be helpful to me to take a step back and realize why I need to keep pushing. This is the importance of proper goal setting. If you don’t have a specific vision of what you are trying to achieve and why, then quitting becomes even easier.

Thanks Aaron. I will throw this in as well, I have found a great website that delves more into depression and goal setting: https://resilientapp.com/growth/how-to-set-goals-when-youre-depressed/

Okay, we've made it to the finish line and the mission is accomplished. What’s next?

Well, you celebrate of course.

Win like You’re Jay Rock #CELEBRATE

Me: How do you celebrate achieving your goals?

Aaron: Celebrating is arguably the most important part of continuing your drive to succeed. No person is a perfect robot that can just continuously work day in and day out without taking a break. When a person has achieved a milestone along their path to success, then they owe it to themselves to celebrate. I personally celebrate by doing the things I enjoy most, but don’t normally have the time to do.

Well awesome people, if you’ve made it through this whole post, then you achieving your goals should be no problem. You just have be SMART and accountable. You have to remember that after a setback is a comeback and being uncomfortable is not a reason to give up, but to excel. And even after the darkest times, their is a celebration. So get out there and get your resolution on. It’s your time to live your best life.

PS: I have attached a few worksheets for you all on SMART Goals, Your “Whys?”, and a Daily Goal Tracker

Sources:

https://resilientapp.com/growth/how-to-set-goals-when-youre-depressed/

https://www.patriciajhancock.com/articles/how-to-stop-sabotaging-your-success?

https://rayamaari.com/major-steps-to-deal-with-setbacks/

https://laurasueshaw.com/how-to-handle-setbacks-to-your-goals-and-still-reach-them/

http://templatelab.com/smart-goals/

A Thousand Words Volume 7: Goals Are Just Dreams In Progress